He turned instantly – palms sweating, pulse racing.
Did she see me?
This is going to be awkward
Do I say hi?
Does she still remember me?
Urgh of course she does! What am I thinking?
A dozen of presumptuous thoughts flooding his mind. After all, this woman was the one he wanted to spend his entire life with at a point in time. The thought of seeing her again 4 years later was making him tense and jittery. He wasn’t sure what he was afraid of – or maybe he did.
Long black waves fall along her sides, with round amber eyes that he had always found so beautiful. Her smile was the same – slightly upturned and dimpled at both ends. Her smile was one of the most precious things to him, because she wasn’t the kind of woman who laughed easily. So back then, he would frequently crack crude silly jokes just to let that rare gem surface; he loved making her happy.
She was standing there, chit chatting with a guy – who is very handsome and seems nice. Probably the guy that she was on a date with at the restaurant just a few minutes ago, he saw them and tried to leave as stealthily as he could, he didn’t want her to notice him.
I hope he is good to you.
No, I hope he treats you even better than I do.
He stood there, subsequently and unknowingly admiring her. It was probably about 10 minutes since he stood there, yet it felt like time had paused momentarily for him. He remembered how he used to look at her while she was asleep – she was a late riser – so he would just lay by her side and admire her for awhile before getting out of bed. Moments like that always reminded him of how lucky and blessed he was; he had his best friend and the most amazing woman on Earth beside him.
He was unconsciously grinning to himself, lost in thought among all the beautiful memories he had with her.
An oddly warm familiar voice suddenly struck him. He was so engrossed that he failed to notice that her conversation had ended and she was now staring straight at him.
The hair behind his neck stood, his palms were now clammy and his heart rate was a little over the top.
What happened to the plan of avoiding her!
Trying to be as composed as he can, he suavely blurted out a hi. It certainly got rather awkward and uneasy at the start, with all the courteous starters they were having. But things got smoother in no time, they were smiling and laughing – and she wasn’t one to express joy so effortlessly.
“You know, I’ve always loved that smile of yours. Are you smiling more these days?” He chuckled.
“Haven’t found anyone who could make me laugh as much like you did,” she grinned.
It was probably a joke, yet it said so much about what they once had. Two people who were genuinely in love with the other from head to toe, from the surface to within. Two people who promised to spend their lives together, until the brutality of reality comes knocking. Two people who once swore to love each other for an eternity – they probably still do.
“Michelle… I just want you to know that I have, and will always love you even though we’re not together anymore. The promise that I once made, will always stay valid.” He finally summed up enough courage to say.
It wasn’t a call for reconciliation, he just wanted to let her know that he will always be there for her if she needs him.
That ever dazzling gem on her face lit up – a smile broader than any he had ever seen- and she gave a slight nod before hugging him.
He pulled her closer, he missed having her so close. Though he knew this would be the last time he will ever have her in his arms.
There are going to be some people or maybe just one person in our lives that no matter how hard we try, we would never be able to fall out of love with.
And for him,
she was that one person.
She will always be in his prayers, her name will always send a tingle down his spine and her smile will always be one of his favourite things in the world. She will always be tucked in a corner of his heart.
You don’t need to be with her forever just to love her forever. You just love her for how long your heart tells you to, and somehow it says forever.