An abyss of love

The affection towards him was strong, surging.

He almost became the man I wanted to spend a lifetime with.

But when I looked into his eyes, the warmth didn’t linger there anymore. It was cold, nonchalant. His gaze still sends sparks down my spine, it always will.

But I knew mine didn’t give him that.

Maybe he fell slightly out of love with me, or the fiery sparks that held us together had doused for him. Or simply, he grew somewhat tiresome of me.

I winced at these thoughts, my heart floundered with it.

He was my first love, the man I gave my dreams, aspirations and whole to.

I would have agreed to stay on, even with the bereft of his affection, because I love him so much- I didn’t have the heart to see his aching gaze were I to leave his arms.

But I had to.

Even if not for me, for him as well.

I couldn’t bear the stream of his inadequacies invariably flooding my mind. I didn’t want to leave him with the notion of his foibles imprinted in my heart; the pain of his disaffection was getting to me.

A valiant, kind and cogent man who once loved me akin to I for him.

He will always hold a special place deep down; I placed a palm on my chest – in here.

I will always love him, in a special way – maybe not as lovers, but family. But I am ready to put down the reins of our love and seek other pastures that will give me the warmth I desire.

His love was once my solace, but now an abyss I was drowning in.

An abyss of love I could linger no longer.


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